I feel like I was born with self-confidence. I don’t remember when I started believing in myself, but I always have. This is not to say I don’t have moments of doubt. I absolutely do, but I use them more for motivation and inspiration than derailing. Throughout my life, I’ve been persistent about nurturing my self-esteem and as a result, my self-confidence. I’ve learned what it takes to build myself up, and as a result, hopefully, be able to build you up as well.
For me, confidence is like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it becomes. And the stronger it becomes, the more like a boss you will grow with your new found self-confidence.
What Is Self-Confidence?
Defined by the dictionary, self-confidence is “a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment.” This is all fine and good but how does self-esteem allow you to pursue your health and wellness goals?
Confidence might not seem achievable. We live in a world where self-love is perceived as selfish and confidence can border on arrogance in some situations. But I challenge you to think of it differently and shift your perspective. It’s easy to talk yourself into feeling like you can’t do something, or be something, or achieve your goals. So let’s not take the easy way out. Take a stand today to fight for your belief in yourself. No one else is going to do it for you.
Negative self-talk is so much more rampant than positive. This can range from the idea of “I’ll never be able to get up early to work out,” to “I have no impulse control,” to ” I’ll always be overweight so may as well just accept it.”
These types of phrases can negatively impact your self-image, and as a result, your self-confidence and self-esteem.
Simple Things You Can Do Today To Embrace your Self- Confidence.
Building self-confidence and self-esteem rely a lot, unsurprisingly, on some of the same self-care mantras that I believe in and have written about before. It’s all related. When you take care of yourself, you feel better, and when you feel better, you naturally develop a sense of self-confidence.
Here are some simple ideas that can be done all at once, or once a day or whatever works for your schedule!
1 – Put Yourself First
When you prioritize your own life, your needs, and your wants and desires above all others, then you can build space to honor the life you have and the life you want to nourish. This isn’t about being “selfish.” It’s about carving out time for self-care and to make a space for you to speak and own your true feelings/emotions/ and goals for yourself.
This could mean blocking out time to go to a favorite workout class. Or turning off electronics to decompress at the end of the day with meditation or a good book. It also could mean deep reflective inner work through journaling or with a qualified professional.
2 – Find Your People
There’s no question that when we are surrounded by toxic relationships both at work and at play, it’s hard to feel confident. While unpacking toxic relationships can feel sticky and complicated on its own, it’s important that while you are on your health and wellness journey, that you find the people who will make you feel supported, loved, and help you stay motivated to succeed.
There’s a big difference between telling a friend how far you ran today and hearing “I could have run farther than that!” vs. a friend who “gets it” and instead gives you a round of applause and offers to go with you the next time.
3 – Treat Yo-Self
Spend a little time shopping for clothes that fit your body right now that feel good, and make you feel pretty and/or sexy! Treat yourself to a massage, or to a movie, or anything that makes you feel like you’re splurging.
This little “treat” can do wonders for the self, in that it is a small way that you can appreciate your own body and mind, and recognize and honor something that you genuinely want/love/need.
4 – Carve Out Down-Time
Intentional downtime is another version of treating yourself, but this one is specific actually to make time to do nothing. For some that could mean binging on Netflix, or massage, or even curling up on the couch with an art project or favorite book. Ask yourself, what do I love to do that I haven’t done in a while. Do that!
As we embark on the physical and mental change that is part of a health and wellness journey, it’s important that we carve out time to decompress and recharge our emotional, physical, and mental batteries.
A little downtime can do wonders for the soul and make you feel refreshed and ready to take on the next challenge.
5 – Engage in Physical Touch
Touch is an incredibly powerful tool when it comes to self-confidence and one that often gets overlooked. If you’re in a relationship, request all of the hugs. If you’ve got kids, give and get lots of hugs with them as well. Spend time snuggling with your pets, or with your family.
Touch is not only a love language that many people have and need, but it’s also psychologically proven to be essential to communicating some basic human needs and function.
In this study published in Psychology Today, researchers examined the seemingly mindless touching NBA teammates perform during the games (high fives, chest bumps, back slaps, etc.).
“The study revealed that the more on-court touching there was early in the season, the more successful teams and individuals were by season’s end. The effect of touch was independent of salary or performance, eliminating the possibility that players touch more if they’re more skilled or better compensated.”
This study, and several others in the above article, detail the relationship between touch and self-confidence is instinctive and measurable.
6 – Forgive Yourself For Past Mistakes
We are human, and as such, we make mistakes. Dwelling on the past allows us to stay stuck there and keeps us from moving forward. To be clear, by “the past” I mean anything from years ago to even last night! (are you kicking yourself for having that dessert? Or sleeping through your alarm to work out?)
Forgive, vow to do better, and move on.
If you’re struggling, it’s always a good idea to consult with a trained professional. Especially when it comes to dealing with some of those old demons and tapes that keep you stuck in your feelings of regret.
7 – Relish in your Accomplishments
No matter how big or small, everything is a win when you’re on the journey to re-building your self-confidence and particularly when it comes to your health and wellness journey. The simple act of waking up and doing a workout or even the process of prepping your food for the week can be a win.
Also those non-scale victories (like upping your weights in your favorite class, or at the gym, or running an extra five minutes!)
This applies to work, to your relationships, and even to your children! Celebrate what you’ve accomplished. Both the small and the big ones!
8 – Express a Different Opinion
This one can be tough for some. Particularly, because of our inherent nature to avoid conflict. But, there’s something very powerful about speaking your truth, particularly when it’s not the same opinion as those you are talking with.
When you share a different opinion and engage in a conversation around that, you may be surprised to learn how powerful that can feel, and as a result, how it can build up your feeling of self-confidence and self-esteem. And your throat chakra will thank you!
9 – Celebrate Your Perfect Imperfections
It’s important on your journey to self-confidence and health and wellness that you recognize and embrace your imperfections.
You are perfect just as you are. No one else is quite like you, and this is something worth celebrating!
When you make time to practice one of these a day, or all of them over time, you’ll start to build up your sense of self-esteem in a way you might not have expected.
How are you feeling now? Scared? Excited? I want to know. Comment below about what you’re working on. And do me a favor, share this pin on Pinterest to help me spread the word about building a healthy sense of self-confidence.